Monkey-Mind Syndrome

So my first final is two days from today, and then I have two other consecutive finals a week from then, and then my next exam is on the… when is it again? I have to double-check.

I open yet another tab in the browser, and search: “lse exam calendar”. Ok, so my finals are: the 28th of May, 3rd, 4th, 12th, and 13th of June. Check.

I can go back to studying now.

Actually, let me just write the dates down in my wall calendar. Where’s my Sharpie? It’s probably on my “School Supplies Box”. I have to stand up for that. Might as well though, if I keep sitting any longer I might get another case of bad study knees…

There’s dust on the shelf. That’s not nice. What if there’s so much dust in the apartment that I actually get a flu… during finals. I go by my trusted ally Mr. Murphy, and he says that if anything bad can happen, it will happen. So I cannot let this dust escalate into a flu that will escalate into a fever that will escalate into me missing my finals and having to go a pedí cacao to some academic body to take my exams at a later date. This will interfere with my vacations, which are already planned, of course. So I dust the shelves, the books, the top of the doors, the lamps, and the posters on the wall. Then I take an AntiFlu-Des “just in case”.

Where was I? Right. The Sharpie. I get it and finally go write the dates on my calendar, which is on the kitchen door. I can’t help to stare at the freezer… Did I take out that chicken breast that I was going to cook for lunch? I open the fridge…. Ok I did. How am I going to cook it though? Should I go all Martha Stewart and actually make an Instagram-worthy dish? Or do I really NOT want to bother? Hm, let’s look at some cooking blogs and see if a lightbulb comes on…

But first, let me check my Facebook, it’s been 25 minutes since the last time already.

I scroll down an eclectic feed of Entertainment-industry news, Music news, posts from my favourite TV shows, overused clichés that some facebook friends decided to post in this particular day. Ah! A post about the new X-Men movie! I really liked the movie so I wonder what they have to say about it. I open the link and start reading. It’s a ranking of all the X-Men movies. I try to remember if I have seen all of them. The ranking includes the Wolverine spinoff saga, which I have yet to see (or not, according to this acticle), and I do remember when I went to see X-Men First Class. I also remember watching the very first X-Men movie, back in the day, on VHS. But what about the other two? No I can’t remember… so I go on Youtube to look for the trailers. But then of course, I catch a glimpse of the videos Youtube recommends to me. Huh, another viral clip from Jimmy Fallon, let’s take a look…

Oh wait, someone just liked a post of mine… it’s someone from my program, which reminds me… I was just about to start studying.

Oh my God, I wasn’t like this before. I remember that when I was doing my undergrad in Montreal, I could study for hours on straight. Or could I? I reminisce a little: yes, back then I always studied at the Library, but sometimes I would get distracted looking at the people around me. But I definitely have more distractions now at home. Yes, but at the library, every bathroom or meal break would take longer, so I would also waste more time with logistics back then. But now I’m following way more pages in Facebook, and I have Instagram, and that also makes it harder to stay focused. Yes, but that’s just because I like to think that I am a bit more knowledgeable and cultured now than I was back then, so I’m going to have more interests. Yes, but maybe back then,  because you had less interests,  you devoted more time to each interest, whereas now that you have more interests, maybe the only difference is that your time/interest ratio has fallen remarkably. This means that you are, in fact, less centered. Hm, maybe I can take time/interest, or time/activity and make it an actual thing to measure a certain condition. Heck, maybe it can even be my thing, and they can name the condition after me…. Maybe this could actually put the whole Economics Major-Psychology Minor to good use. But is it really what I want to do? Let’s see… what are my other career options. Oh, there I am, wandering off again. Sh*t.

I remember this quote a friend of mine once shared with me: “Your mind is a monkey, you have to learn how to tame it” (one of her professors shared it with her, it’s not like she has a Yoda complex). Maybe that’s what’s going on. I can’t tame my mind! I can’t get it to focus on just one thing! I have to constantly be aware of EVERYTHING that’s going on, otherwise… well who knows? I have yet to try to stop trying to be so well-informed all the time. But I guess it’s one of those things that you have to take baby steps in order to get over them. So here we go… I’m going to try to be centered. Starting… now.

…Actually, is the “Monkey Mind” really a thing? Like, is it a well-known metaphor that people use? Is this its right context then? I guess I can Google it. Actually, screw Google, I think I can even write about it myself… Let’s call it “Monkey-Mind Syndrome” for now.

…is it ok to hyphenate that? I know there’s a rule for it. For hyphenation, I mean. Well, I guess I could Google that up too while I’m at it…

 

 

 

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